Axiom of Love: Love Requires Commitment

Love, a universal language understood by all, has been the inspiration for countless works of art, music, and literature. Yet, despite its ubiquity, the true nature of love remains a subject of endless fascination and debate. While love can manifest in various forms—romantic, familial, platonic, or polyamorous—certain fundamental principles, Axioms, underpin its essence. One such principle is commitment.

Commitment is the steadfast dedication to the growth and longevity of a relationship and the willingness to navigate challenges together. Commitment anchors a relationship, providing a sense of security and stability. It is the glue that binds partners together, even when life throws unexpected obstacles their way.

The Essence of Commitment in Polyamory

With polyamory, commitment takes on a not so traditional form. It is not merely a binary choice between monogamy and non-monogamy, but rather a spectrum of possibilities. At its core, commitment in polyamory is a conscious decision to prioritize a relationship, regardless of its structure or the number of partners involved.

Loyalty and fidelity, often misunderstood in the context of non-monogamy, remain crucial components of commitment. While the definition of fidelity may differ from traditional monogamous relationships, it still involves honesty, transparency, and respect for agreed-upon boundaries. Polyamorous individuals may choose to practice consensual non-monogamy, but this does not negate the importance of loyalty to their partners.

Shared values and goals play a significant role in fostering commitment within polyamorous relationships. By aligning on fundamental life principles, partners can create a strong foundation for their connections. Whether it's a shared vision for the future, a commitment to personal growth, or a desire to build a supportive community, shared values and goals can deepen the bonds between individuals and strengthen their commitment to one another.

The Benefits of Commitment in Polyamory

Commitment, whether in a monogamous or polyamorous relationship, offers numerous benefits for emotional well-being and overall life satisfaction. By prioritizing and nurturing relationships, polyamorous individuals can experience:

• Enhanced Emotional Well-being: Commitment fosters a sense of security and belonging, which can significantly contribute to emotional well-being. Knowing that one's partners are committed to the relationship can alleviate feelings of anxiety and uncertainty.

• Increased Happiness and Life Satisfaction: Strong, committed relationships are a major source of happiness and life satisfaction. When individuals feel loved, supported, and valued, they are more likely to experience positive emotions and overall life contentment.

• Stronger Sense of Security and Stability: Commitment can provide a sense of stability and security, even within the framework of non-monogamy. Knowing that one's partners are committed to the relationship can reduce feelings of fear and abandonment.

• Deeper Levels of Intimacy and Trust: Commitment is essential for building deep levels of intimacy and trust. By prioritizing the relationship and working through challenges together, partners can develop a strong bond based on honesty, vulnerability, and mutual respect.

Expressing, Defining, and Maintaining Commitments in Polyamory

In polyamorous relationships, commitment can manifest in various ways, often tailored to the specific needs and desires of each individual and partnership. Open and honest communication is paramount in expressing and defining commitments. Partners should discuss their expectations, boundaries, and priorities, ensuring that everyone is on the same page.   

Defining commitment in polyamory can be a fluid process. It may involve discussing topics such as:

• Time commitment: How much time each partner is willing to dedicate to the relationship.

• Emotional commitment: The level of emotional intimacy and support expected.

• Sexual exclusivity or openness: The agreed-upon boundaries regarding sexual activity with others.   

• Future plans: Whether the relationship is seen as long-term or short-term.

Maintaining commitment in polyamory requires ongoing effort and attention. Regular check-ins, honest conversations, and quality time are essential. It's important to prioritize each relationship, even as life circumstances change. Flexibility and adaptability are key, as relationships evolve over time. By fostering trust, respect, and open communication, polyamorous individuals can build strong, lasting, and fulfilling relationships.

Commitment, a cornerstone of enduring relationships, is essential in both monogamous and polyamorous contexts. By prioritizing open communication, shared values, and mutual respect, polyamorous individuals can cultivate deep, meaningful, and fulfilling connections.

---

Homework:

• Self-Reflection:

  • Consider your current relationships. How do you define commitment within them?

  • Are you consistently prioritizing these relationships?

  • What specific actions can you take to strengthen your commitment to your loved ones?

• Open Dialogue:

  • Have a heart-to-heart conversation with your partner(s) about commitment.

  • Discuss your expectations, needs, and desires.

  • Work together to create a shared vision for your relationship(s).

• Explore the Other Axioms:

  • Read the articles on the other Axioms of Love to gain a comprehensive understanding of the building blocks of strong relationships.

  • Consider how these axioms intersect with and support commitment.